You're in my blood, you're my holy wine
Apr. 25th, 2014 03:11 amPeter won't say it, but he feels like an asshole even as he keeps telling himself he'd done the right thing. He wanted to protect Roman from this. From the Vargulf, from everything that was fucked with this screwed up little town, but most especially, he wanted to save Roman from himself. From the darkness that hadn't yet won him over, but the closer he was to this, the worse this whole shit sandwich got. He had felt it in the Mill. The darkness, the feeling that some day it was going to spill over, and the closer Roman was to this, the sooner that day was going to come.
The sun was out, just enough to be slightly too warm in the high afternoon until he slipped out of his shirt and shoes, drinking beers from the small refrigerator and wishing the sun could chase the chill from his heart. He felt guilty, he felt like he'd done something wrong no matter how many times he tried to tell himself he was just keeping Roman safe, out of this. It was his fight anyway. It had been.. nice. Having Roman by his side, someone who knew, someone that gave a shit and didn't judge him like Destiny and his mother, as if they knew better than he did what he was neck deep in.
He'd been drinking off and on the whole day. By the time he heard an engine pull up to the trailer he was buzzed, tipsy, maybe just a little bit drunk. He had been sitting on the front stoop, playing games with the cat, although after that many beers, the cat's claws were winning. But maybe the slight sting of pain was good -- it gave him something to focus on. Something that wasn't painfully gorgeous with two emeralds for eyes and lips people would kill for. Fucking Roman. Peter couldn't get him out of his head, and it was almost infuriating. Every time he had to remind himself this was the right choice.
He felt guilty, even as pissed as he still was about the Mill. But between that weird feeling he'd gotten, almost sick to his stomach with it, he could almost understand it. Roman didn't deal well with being pushed outside of his comfort zone. But at the same time, that made for an even better reason to cut him out of this whole fucked up thing. It goes to just how much he'd been enjoying his beers that day (and maybe some lot, if he's being honest about it) that he didn't Roman until he could smell him, until the shadow of his body slid over him and Peter shivered.
"Shit, Roman..."
He moved to get up, to try and walk back into the trailer, his shoulders stiff, refusing to let onto his indecision.
The sun was out, just enough to be slightly too warm in the high afternoon until he slipped out of his shirt and shoes, drinking beers from the small refrigerator and wishing the sun could chase the chill from his heart. He felt guilty, he felt like he'd done something wrong no matter how many times he tried to tell himself he was just keeping Roman safe, out of this. It was his fight anyway. It had been.. nice. Having Roman by his side, someone who knew, someone that gave a shit and didn't judge him like Destiny and his mother, as if they knew better than he did what he was neck deep in.
He'd been drinking off and on the whole day. By the time he heard an engine pull up to the trailer he was buzzed, tipsy, maybe just a little bit drunk. He had been sitting on the front stoop, playing games with the cat, although after that many beers, the cat's claws were winning. But maybe the slight sting of pain was good -- it gave him something to focus on. Something that wasn't painfully gorgeous with two emeralds for eyes and lips people would kill for. Fucking Roman. Peter couldn't get him out of his head, and it was almost infuriating. Every time he had to remind himself this was the right choice.
He felt guilty, even as pissed as he still was about the Mill. But between that weird feeling he'd gotten, almost sick to his stomach with it, he could almost understand it. Roman didn't deal well with being pushed outside of his comfort zone. But at the same time, that made for an even better reason to cut him out of this whole fucked up thing. It goes to just how much he'd been enjoying his beers that day (and maybe some lot, if he's being honest about it) that he didn't Roman until he could smell him, until the shadow of his body slid over him and Peter shivered.
"Shit, Roman..."
He moved to get up, to try and walk back into the trailer, his shoulders stiff, refusing to let onto his indecision.